eh?

After much deliberation, I've decided to convert to Canadism. Or maybe at least just go for a visit????

Jonathan

Ok, so my posts have been somewhat depressing lately. No wonder people are so depressed during the holidays. I just wanted to write a bit about how much I love my son and how adorable he is. I just can't stare at him long enough! He is so precious, I just want to love him and hold him all day long! He is getting so big already and I can't wait to watch him become what God has created him to become. Sheesh...I love that kid...

12/25/05

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!!!

yesterday's post

Guess I was a little "in the flesh..." but I meant every word I said. Don't mess with a post partum woman whose husband just left her...at Christmas.

A big THANK YOU

I would like to take this time to thank everyone who has made it possible for Jason to walk out on Jonathan and I. You see, instead of holding him accountable for his actions, you have let him whine and cry about how miserable he is, and have enabled him to abandon his family.

To Jason's family: shame on you. You have hardly ever supported anything he has done, and now that he wants to WALK OUT on his wife and child, you have gladly handed him the money to do so. You didn't say "no Jason, you need to be a man and take care of your responsibilty...if you want to walk out get a job and do it yourself..." You handed him over the cash to do so. I guess I should be happy that my father in law has finally showed interest in his son though huh??? WHATEVER.

To the family at church who has fed and sheltered Jason through this time:
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Instead of holding Jason accountable in a Christian manner, you too have enabled him and given him the means to walk out on his family. Instead of backing off, and getting out of the situation like I asked you to, and like the pastor asked you too, you continually got involved and pushed Jason and I further apart. Shame on you.

To everyone else who is reading this and scratching their heads: On November 13th the day before we brought Jonathan home from the hospital (which all of those "happy" pictures are completely staged...) I received a text message on my phone from Jason that was supposed to be to another woman. Well, he accidentally sent it to my phone and it was about me. This in turn started a whole confrontation where Jason told me he didn't love me and didn't really ever love me and didn't want to be married anymore. So he moved out over a month ago and hasn't worked or supported Jonathan and I since. Yeah, and he is wanting to go into the ministry??!! I was very supportive, and tried my hardest to work on the marriage until
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Sorry Jason, I'm not covering for you anymore. If you're going to make these decisions, you need to live by the consequences of these decisions...I'm not trying to make you look bad, you're doing a good enough job of that yourself.

As if bringing home a baby wasn't stressful enough....And by the way, I'm not keeping Jonathan from Jason for those of you who think I am...you see, Jason hasn't been completely honest with me in the past (when he has taken Jonathan before he was telling me where he was going, but lying about it...) and I don't trust him. I don't know where he is staying, or who he is staying with...he could be staying with a drug dealer or a child molester for all I know. I have told Jason he can see Jonathan whenever he wants...he just doesn't have a car seat or anything to take him in...so, he can come over here and see him whenever he wants...and until he gets things (His life...) under control visitation is on MY TERMS. I'm not letting anyone...ANYONE...take advantage of me.

7 weeks old...!!

This was taken on Wednesday at 7 weeks old!

question

I just found out my OBGYN is a lesbian...does that make me gay?

computers

I wish I knew more about computers so I could add links and a photo album. Does anyone have any suggestions for a good photo album I could use? A free service would be nice!!! I LOATHE computers...! I just finally figured out how to use Photo Story, and I have made some really cute slide shows, but I can't figure out if ther is a way to publish them on here or not...I need a major computer intervention session...

Oh yeah...

It has just occured to me (well, someone requested..) that I never posted a preggo picture from my last days of the pregnancy...of course the delivery happened so fast I didn't get one from my last week, but I have one from 33 weeks (I delivered in between 34 and 35 weeks...) soooo....here it is...(me with my mom and Grandma Charlotte...)

sling site

www.coastalsling.com

my friend Niki makes and sells these awesome slings! hope you don't mind Niki...wanted to get you some buisness down here...! i need to order one!

12/6/05

Hello...

Ok, so I didn't know how much work being a mother really is. Yesterday Jonathan and I had our first outting alone together. I felt like I was having to pack for a 2 day trip. I still don't know exactly how to pack a diaper bag, like how much stuff to take. I seem to overpack a bit. It was fun though, we went to the mall and we walked around until my brother went on his lunch break (He works at Robinson's May) and then we had lunch with him. He is such a proud uncle! He was showing Jonathan off to everyone! It was so cute.

Jonathan also had another Dr. appt. yesterday because last week the doctor detected a heart murmur, and she wanted to recheck it this week to see whether or not Jonathan would have to go to a cardiologist...thankfully though she didn't hear it yesterday. She said that is quite common with infants. Also, Jonathan hit the 7 pound mark! 7 pounds and 3/4 ounces. He is so chubby! I love it.

So, the time of me having to go back to work is quickly approaching. I'm crushed. I don't want to go back. I have no idea what I'm going to do with Jonathan when I go back. I have to go back to work, there is no way around that. I've called a few day care centers (which I HATE the thought of leaving him at one...) but they are either filled to capacity, scary looking or really expensive. Some day cares are like 200+ dollars a week! It's crazy. I'm hoping someone from church will offer to take care of him or something. Maybe I'll just hide him in my desk at work. Please keep this issue in your prayers, I don't want to make the wrong decision.

more pics

Jonathan chilling with Uncle Cory. Me and Jonathan. Family Pic...