OOOOOh yeah

Three more weeks until spring break. I just don't know if I want to go on a cruise or spend that extra saved money on season tickets for the Arizona Diamondbacks...hmmmmm. I can't believe it's baseball season again already! I'm so excited! But then again, a nice sunny cruise vacation sounds awesome! Oh the decisions...

It's Sunday already?

Another weekend has quickly gone by, and I can't believe it's Sunday already. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I have a lot of work to do getting activities ready for this week. Sometimes I just don't feel like working at home. Do other teachers spend this much time working on materials at home or is it just me? Or is it just because this is my first year? I work in a school that does not provide any materials for the teachers and it does not have text books! So pulling materials together for a lesson is sometimes very difficult. There has got to be an easier way, I just don't know what it is. So much of my time is spent on making copies (which our school does not have a copier...and the all in one I purchased for my house just broke this weekend...grrrr) and searching for websites for my lessons. I have learned to be somewhat resourceful, and somewhat creative...but it is such hard work for a first year teacher who has limited resources. Other teachers who have been in the profession for awhile don't seem to have as much difficulty with this. I think I need to find a school with a curriculum...with textbooks...with teacher support...! Good news, I went to the Department of Education and I found out as soon as I get my transcript sent in along with the 60 dollar fee, I can have my Arizona Certification, which means I can look for a job in a school with the books, support and materials. I can also find a school closer so I don't have to drive almost an hour to the other side of the valley to get to work everyday. That would be so wonderful. I'm burned out. I need to finish strong...

Five Simple Words...

Well, today we had parent/teacher conferences and I'm not sure how other schools do it, but we have them on the last Thursday of EVERY month. I guess this is good for accountability, communication with parents etc., etc., etc., and so on and so forth, but it is so draining. I haven't quite grasped the hang of the parent/teacher conference, because I can't stand to give a parent "bad" news about their child (behavior, academics, whatever the issue is...) I don't like confrontation, and I have a hard time dealing with parents who think their child is a genius whenever they are simply "average." This doesn't mean their child is "stupid" - just normal. Anyway, I think I've learned the value of five simple words: "Your child is doing fine!" This phrase works wonders.

Correction...

Ok, I have a correction to make: my husband got a little upset when he read my post about the cute little books I made for my workout schedule...The truth is, my husband actually made the books, printed all of the information out, punched the holes, and put the "stuff" in the binders...I just made them "cute." Sorry for misleading you.

Secondly, I have decided to quit reading "The Shattered Visage," at least until spring or summer break. Although it is very interesting, I just do not have the time to put into going through all of my old biology notes and "stuff" to get the background information I need to fully understand the book. It's ok, I will pick it up again, perhaps after the AIMS tests, and when I have more time to devote to it. I did however start reading "Ramona the Brave" to my class...I just don't think I'm ready to read "Charlotte's Web" to them yet.

Third, I have gotten many phone calls and emails concerning my emotional stability after reading "Confessions..." Ok, I'm sorry! I basically meant for it to be sort of funny. It was all true what I wrote, but I did not write it from a dark emotional place! Some of it was meant to be a little sarcastic, please don't take me seriously! I think some of the things I wrote are feelings that we all have sometimes as NORMAL human beings. (Yes, I am calling myself normal...) So please... read it with some humor!

Finally, I would like to take this time to thank my mom for all of her support this year. I have had a really rough year with it being my first year teaching. The school I am involved in is also not the best atmosphere for professional growth. So, thank you mom, I love you and I appreciate everything you have done for me.

Grading Papers

It is almost the end of my wonderful four day weekend. I slept a lot which was very good. I'm still a little sick, so I feel like it wasn't wasted time. Unfortunately, I'm not looking forward to having to get up tomorrow morning and go to school. I am not a morning person. I have spent most of today trying to figure out how to get the best workout with the new "Bowflex" we got. They make it look so easy and satisfying on the infomercials. It is quite easy to use, I just don't like to excercise. So, I made a cute little workout book where I will chart my progress (I'm such a paper person it's ridiculous) I am currently trying to set up a chart on Excell, but I don't know how to use the program that well and I'm getting frustrated. I did however use Excell to set up a new gradebook...which will be wonderful to use...once I start grading all those papers that I've put off this weekend...

What I am reading:

Last night I started reading "A Shattered Visage; The Real Face of Atheism" by Ravi Zacharias. This is a book written to show the weaknesses in the atheistic argument. So far it has been very interesting, although I do need to spend a lot of time doing research on various items in the book so I can have a better understanding of the illustrations and concepts. Mr. Zacharias has a very advanced vocabulary...and I do not, which is why I chose to keep it simple and teach 2nd grade. Although many of the words do sound familiar I have no idea what they mean, or what I thought they meant doesn't seem to make sense so, I've had to look up words such as: "diametrically," "emasculate," "expiate," and a plethora of other words that I do not use in the daily agenda in second grade! I have also had to familiarize myself with various philosophers and their theories, for instance...can anyone tell me what Aristotelian-Ptolemaic cosmology is? Or what is the Copernican theory of the solar system? What was the Piltdown hoax? It seems to me this book may be more work than I thought...maybe I should just settle down to read "Charlotte's Web" again...I will keep you updated on my progress.

"Stuff"

I have spent the day cleaning (avoiding cleaning actually) and I cannot for the life of me figure out where we got so much "stuff." It's quite disgusting really. I don't know why I feel that I need to be so materialistic. I have gotten into the habit of buying, using, and storing away. It's a horrible cycle. When I was going through some boxes ( I still haven't completely unpacked from moving here over a year ago...) I found things that I completely forgot I had. Things that I didn't even know what they were...it's embarrassing. So, I am going to simplify...purge my belongings, and resist the temptation to buy more "stuff." Can anyone relate?

Confessions

I know they are usually happy, but I am afraid of clowns...why do they always need to be smiling?

Sometimes when I can't find a pair of socks that match, I wear two different ones...for instance today I am wearing one ankle length sock, and one longer sock.

I am obsessed with celebrity gossip.

I cannot stop chewing my nails.

Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I automatically assume they won't like me.

I'm not pretty enough, or skinny enough..I don't like how round my face has become.

I want children, and I'm a little upset that I don't have them already.

I like to watch "Desperate Housewives"

I have cheated on a test before...in Bible college.

I don't think I'm smart enough to further my education, or write that book I've been thinking about for the past seven years.

I have bullied someone before.

I have smoked...cigarettes only.

I have drank, a little too much at times.

I have used this line..."Not tonight, I have a headache..."

I wish I was taller.

I have told lies about other people to make myself look better.

I don't think I'm good at what I do, because sometimes I can't stand children, and I feel like I can't communicate with them.

I have pretended to be something I wasn't for the attention of others.

I have taken advantage of someone who was "weaker" than me.

I have let people take advantage of me.

In sixth grade I stole candy from Mrs. Allen's desk, and then I lied about it when I got caught.

I have forged my dad's signature on Progress Reports, when my grades were D's and F's.

I am mad that they cancelled "Friends."

Sometimes I don't think I'm normal.

FOUR DAY WEEKEND!!!

Yep, you heard it right...a four day weekend! And it starts in about 20 minutes!!!!

Sick Time

I should have taken another sick day today, I feel miserable. I can't communicate. I'm getting frustrated and anything I try to do is just not effective. Good news, I did get my health insurance information today, so now I can go to a doctor and get this mess all cleared up!!!!!

One of the saddest moments in children's literature...

Everytime I read this I get a little choked up. I'm getting ready to read this story to my class, and I just don't know if I can do it without crying. The first time I ever read this particular part in the story I remember just sobbing. It is a part of E.B. White's book, "Charlotte's Web." Seriously, one of the saddest books I have read:

"Use extreme care!" he said. " I don't want a single one of those eggs harmed."

"Thith thtuff thticks in my mouth," complained the rat. "It'th worth than caramel candy."

But Templeton worked away at the job, and managed to cut the sac adrift and carry it to the ground, where he dropped it in front of Wilbur. Wilbur heaved a great sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Templeton," he said. "I will never forget this as long as I live."

"Neither will I," said the rat, picking his teeth. "I feel as though I'd eaten a spool of thread. Well, home we go!"

"Templeton crept into the crate and buried himself in the straw. He got out of sight just in time. Lurvy and John Arable and Mr. Zuckerman came along at that moment, followed by Mrs. Arable and Mrs. Zuckerman and Avery and Fern. Wilbur had already decided how he would carry the egg sac-there was only one way possible. He carefully took the little bundle in his mouth and held it there on top of his tongue. He remembered what Charlotte had told him-that the sac was waterproof and strong. It felt funny on his tongue and made him drool a bit. And of course he couldn't say anything. But as he was being shoved into the crate, he looked up at Charlotte and gave her a wink. She knew he was saying good-bye in the only way he could. And she knew her children were safe.

"Good-bye!" she whispered. Then she summoned all her strength and waved one of her front legs at him.

She never moved again. Next day, as the ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up their belongings and driving away in trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died."

My first sick day

Ok, so not only do I have a horrible headache, but I am also coughing up a lung. I felt horrible telling the Dean that I wasn't coming in today. Why is that? I have always been one to hate calling in. Except for one time in college where I lied beacause I was so behind on writing a speech that I had to get out of one evening of work. I feel like crap and I have sick time that I'm not using, so I don't understand why I feel so bad about taking the time off. I think it's because I hate the thought of leaving my students with a stranger. Everyday I go into my classroom and I'm like the mother of 18 beautiful children...so, I just don't like the idea of someone else coming into my house and taking care of my kids.

holidays=headaches

If it weren't for the wonderful children in my class, I just do not know how I could get up and do this everyday! Today I had the worst headache I have had in a long time. If I hadn't already promised my students last week that we would have a party today for Valentines Day, I'm sure I would have called in sick...the truth is, my students bring me so much joy, I simply forgot I had such a headache when they all brought me the wonderful Valentines gifts they had made and bought! I love this job.

I don't wanna go to school tomorrow...

It is Sunday night, and I'm going through my weekly routine of trying to get out of getting up early tomorrow for school...

So not what I expected

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a teacher. When I was in second grade I would sit behind a tree during recess at Marshallville Elementary school with a small notebook and "grade" papers that my "students" had done. I kept a gradebook. I would make worksheets using old carbon paper passed down from my Grandma Charlotte. I asked for school supplies for Christmas. Most kids wanted to go to Toys R Us...I wanted to go to Wooster Office Supply. During summer break I would dress up almost everyday and force my younger brother to play school. He had homework, which he was expected to do. I bought old text books and an old school desk from the Goodwill. Obsessive? Maybe. Passionate? I guess. Now that my first year of teaching is a little more than half over can I just say that it isn't at all what I have been dreaming about...Stay tuned.